When the mother-child relationship is damaged the child’s ego does not develop in an optimal way. Rather than form a secure ‘ego-Self axis’ bond, the child’s ego experiences estrangement from the Self. This Self-estrangement negatively affects the child’s ego, and thus the narcissist is said to have a ‘negativized ego’. The negativized ego than proceeds to compensate for the Self-estrangement by suppressing the personal needs which are inherent in the Self; thus “the negativized ego of the narcissistically disturbed person is characterized by strong defense mechanisms and ego rigidity. A person with this disturbance has distanced himself from the painful emotions of negative experiences and has become egoistic, egocentric, and narcissistic” (Asper, 1993; P. 82).
ConclusionIt is important to recognize that the narcissistic individual is a complex and multifaceted human being. Deep inside narcissistic individuals experience tremendous pain and suffering, for which they attempt to compensate for by the projection of the grandiose front. These people are not character disordered. They are people tortured by narcissistic injury and crippled by developmental arrests in functioning which rob them of the richness of life they deserve. They are good people, who are hurting. They are living and suffering the narcissistic style.
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