Blue Moon Essay, Research Paper
Picture a cool summer night cruising with your friends, the wind whipping off your butt cheeks as you speed past multiple cars. Mooning someone may seem like a simple task, but it is an art form that takes great skill and practice. Why, who, and where are three of the questions that must be answered in order to achieve the ideal atmosphere needed to properly moon someone.
The first step to mastering this art is to decide why you want to moon someone. Many people choose to moon others out of pure enjoyment. The roaring laughter and hilarity of exposing your rump to an unsuspecting victim is a great source of entertainment. Some people moon others to simply to piss them off, but this generally only happens to grouchy older people who hate stupid kids , and to jealous boyfriends. I often moon people after being tailgated to infuriate them and get revenge for them tailgating me. However, everyone has his or her own reason to moon someone you have to find your own motivation to make it work for you.
After you have decided why, you must select whom you are going to moon. For me, this includes people I dislike. Just the look of total rage as an enemy spies those two big ham hawks flying past them in an inspiring sight to see. Then there are those who moon their family and friends; this selection may be an easy target but it is not as effective. This is due to the fact that your family and friends are usually expecting you to moon them, thus it loses its shock value. In my opinion, the best people to moon are total strangers. Strangers have the greatest expressions on their faces after someone they do not know has just mooned them. They either laugh and cheer, or they follow you on a high-speed chase to catch you and beat you senseless. I have experienced both types of strangers and both are very entertaining, not to mention it angers them at the same time.
The last objective on your voyage to mastery is the location. In this decision, your options are limitless. My personal favorite is the car. You can moon so many different people when in an automobile, everyone from old people to church buses. A guy named Karl performed the best example of this type of mooning that I have ever seen. One day while he was driving down the road, he managed to stick his entire butt out the driver side window to moon a bus of older churchgoers in Pensacola as they drove by him. Another friend of mine by the name of Justin enjoys mooning people from inside his house as they walk up to the door. Then there are those who, in a drunken stupor, moon people at parties. They may think they are cool when they do this, but these types are nothing more than drunken amateurs. Yet with the proper guidance and practice these average mooners can become as versatile in their mooning techniques, like myself.
Many consider mooning to be juvenile and a waste of time. For me, mooning someone is neither juvenile nor a waste of time but an art form that few truly understand yet millions exploit. Thus, I say, Knowledge is power. All you have to do is ask and you shall receive the answers to proper and effective mooning. Therefore, now you have the tools to become a professional all you need now is the talent.