f) The problem of love and friendship. Suicide in the young
family problem children
The problem of love is very important for the young people. Romanticism and idealism very often accompany the love of the young. Their belief in eternal love can end dramatically. Today nobody doubts about the depth of their passion. It is regrettable, but the young are not always ready to have stable relations.
Suicide among the teenagers male population has reached crisis point with 72% increase in reported cases over 20 years, the UK survey says. What are the reasons of this suicide? The first reason is an unhappy love. Here are some teenagers' letters with the answers of psychologists which were published in the youth magazines such as "Just seventeen", "Jackie", MIZZ".
Now we hate each other.
"I am 16 years old and have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years, and I thought I really loved him. Then one day we had sex and it was the biggest mistake of our lives. We now both hate each other and can not look each other in the eye. We have not spoken for nearly a month and I feel really dirty, and I know all his friends are calling me a slag because he told them what happened. Now everyone thinks I am easy. What can I do?"
Answer: I hate to say it but this boy deserves a bit of a sharp slap. Doesn't he realize that he played quite a major part in this whole messy venture? So sex did not work out and that is no one's fault. The first time isn't always brilliant despite what some films show, so do not judge this unfortunate experience as the norm. You have nothing to feel guilty or bad about as you haven't done anything wrong. On the other hand, he should be ashamed of his behavior. People's reactions to his comments will blow over and they will see him for the idiot he really is. Till then, keep your head up. After all, you have done nothing wrong at all.
No sex without love.
"I am a virgin and I can not decide whether I should have sex for the first time with someone. I do not know - for the sake of experience. It is just that when someone special comes along and we have sex it will be very special and good because I will know what I am doing. I do not want my first time to be a disaster."
Answer: Your letter really worries me. You seem to think of sex as some sort of game whereby you can practice with anyone in order to make it perfect. Sex is only perfect when you do it with someone you care about and trust. I doubt very much that practicing with just anyone will prepare you for this moment. In any case, when the time comes to have sex with someone you are close to, he won't expect you to be an expert, because it is not a competition. Believe me, sex without love is like swimming without water. Do yourself a favor - wait until you feel ready and sure before you do anything rash.
Scared of kissing.
"People at school make fun of me because I have never snogged a boy. I have had several chances, but every time it happens I end up chickening out. People think I am weird and I am beginning to worry there must be something wrong with me.”
Answer: Kissing with someone should be seen as some sort of test to pass, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to wait until you find a boy you feel confident with. Stop worrying that there is anything wrong with you and try to accept that you have every right to take things at your own place. Take it from me – kissing is nothing to be afraid of!
Dumped for a new boyfriend
“ I am feeling really angry at the moment and I do not know what to do. Ever since I was about three I have been friends with this girl, we have been through everything together. And now she has dumped me for a new boyfriend. I am really sick of it, she totally ignored all this week and has gone off with her boyfriend. I do have other friends, but I am just so upset she has just thrown away our friendship after all these years. I do not know what to do about it now. What do you suggest?"
Answer: Try talking to your friend, perhaps she is so caught up with her new boyfriend that she really does not realize she's excluding you. Unfortunately, if your friend purposely chose to dump you for her new boyfriend then there is nothing you can do but review your friendship. Ask yourself - is your friendship real? And remember, friendships change with time. Often the best friends we have from childhood grow up and away from us but it is natural and normal. Other best friends will take this place.
I hate not having a boyfriend.
I'm having a problem at school. My best friends all have boyfriends and they see them all the time. They go out every Saturday with them, and even though they ask me along, I feel like a leftover. Sometimes at break their boyfriends will come over and they'll all ignore me completely. I wish I had a boyfriend -1 really hate not having one. I know this situation would be so much better if I was like my friends.
Answer: When you say that your situation would be better if you had a boyfriend I believe that you want a boyfriend for the wrong reasons. There are plenty of people who are single and yet have friends who are not. Having a boyfriend does not make you more of a person, only you can be that. Your friends are being pretty silly if they cannot see how important it is to keep their relationships going. Friends can last a lifetime, but boyfriends come and go. Try explaining to your friends how out of place you are feeling. After all, they know they need you as much as you need them.
Shy and spotty.
I am a 15-year-old girl and I have a very serious problem. At my age I should have had a boyfriend by now, but I have not. I feel no one is attracted to me. I do not know if it is because I am very shy around boys, but I think it is to do with how I look. I am quite spotty and quiet. I wish I could have plastic surgery, but I cannot afford it. Please, could you help me?
Answer: A recent survey showed that boys prefer personality and a sense of humor above looks when it came to picking a girlfriend. I am sure if you asked girls they would say the same thing. Most people are shy in certain situations, and no one will think any less of you for being this way. And if a person has spots, so what? You do not need plastic surgery - you need a serious dose of self-confidence. In time your spots will go. Remember, it is not what you look like; it is who you are that matters.
Hanging has replaced self-poisoning from car exhaust fumes and taking an overdose as the most common suicide method among 15- to 19-year-old men. The number of male suicide in this age group rose from 55 per million of the population in 1970 to 100 per million of the population at the turn of the century. Statistics underestimates the true extent of the problem because coroners prefer to classify many suicidal deaths as "accidental". It is always a mistake to look for one single cause but it is probably a crisis of confidence among the young people.
A crisis of confidence could arise for a variety of reasons including psychiatric disorders, disturbed family or partner relationships, unemployment and involvement in crime, leading to contact with the judicial system. A culture of drugs, alcohol delinquency is blamed for teenagers turning to suicide when their grip on life spirals out of control. Yet another reason is genetic variation and inability to regulate one’ mood and anxiety levels. Suicide rate among girls in the 15-19-year-old age group has decreased slightly. Suicide rates are the highest in Finland and Hungary, and low in Italy and Spain. UK levels are about the European average.
To choose a good friend is a very important problem. It is a well-known proverb “ A friend in need is a friend indeed". That is why everyone tries to make friends with cheerful and true persons who can understand you and with whom it is simple and interesting to speak.
g) Family problems
Young people have problems with their parents. What are they? They are concerned with education, money, employment, hobby, spending their free time, communication and the like. And of course, one of the most urgent problems is the accommodation problem. Few young people in country have their own apartments. In the they share the apartments with their parents even after getting married. It is a problem to get a good education and a very difficult problem of choosing the future profession.
All teenagers want to have a lot of money to dress well, to go to the theatres, to visit foreign countries, to eat what they want, to buy books... How can they solve all these problems? It is possible to do it. Some boys wash cars, others sell newspapers, help old persons. These problems must be solved in a proper way with the help of grown-ups.
Psychologists ’ Survey
A fool despises his father’s instruction,
But he that regards reproof is prudent.
The Bible. Proverbs,15:5
A group of psychologists carried out an anonymous survey among some schoolchildren and asked them to write answers to the question:”Are you happy in your family?” Here are some of their answers.
K.S.’s answer:
:Three times I attempted to commit suicide. It was not I wanted to die, but to get hem to take notice of me. Well, I mean, I want my parents to respect my personality, to acknowledge my rights and to share in my sufferings and difficulties. On the one hand, they do show their anxiety about me. Mum gets really annoyed if I miss dinner time and do not have regular meals. She also feels sorry for me when I have to sit up late with my homework. But they do not trust me and are always suspecting me of wrongdoings. I am sick and tired of being scolded all the time and threatened with loss of love.
B.T.’ s answer:
“I am happy to have my parents. We do a lot together as a family. We enjoy walks and picnics and going to exhibitions or concert halls. I owe all that I can do and know to my parents. My mother is a teacher of French and she started teaching it to me when I was in cradle. When I was three, my Dad taught me English and I began learning my native language at six. I must say that I get on in the three of them perfectly well and in all other school subjects too.
We have got a rich library of our own, and I have every opportunity to read modern and classical literature by French, English and Russian authors. My favorite hour of the day is supper time when we all get together. It is not really the food that we enjoy – though Mum is an excellent cook! – but the pleasure of snaring in one another's affairs and there's usually a lot of laugher and jokes.
I never hesitate to tell Mum and Dad my secrets and they are always ready and willing to help me with their advice or cautions.
My Dad is a prosperous businessman and ... (I suspect, you will hardly believe me) he is a talented rock musician as well. We are his first audience and critics. But I am sure my entire Dad composes is great!"
A.P's answer:
"I do not remember a day in my life when my busy parents could spare me a minute of their precious time. Well, they give me pocket money every time I ask, but it is nothing compared with what I really need. Sometimes I think they regret that they have me at all. „ Whenever I try to get them to talk to me, they find hundreds of reasons not to do it. I feel very lonely".
M.D. 's answer:
"When my Mum is busy doing the homework, the washing and cleaning and that all stuff, I am always try to help her. Though many of my schoolmates find it really boring. But I feel sorry for my Mum as she's always rushing around an d she has to go to work as well. Though she has loads of different things to do in a day, she still finds time to ask about my schoolwork. If I'm assigned a composition on literature or something else she discusses it eagerly with me and does her best to get me to think over each point seriously and deeply.
We have a common hobby, too. It is playing the guitar and writing songs. The character of our songs is different, as well as the genres we work in, but the premiere of a new song is always exciting. Though, I must admit, we never spare each other's feelings expressing our opinions.
We have common friends, too. When my friends come to see me, my Mum joins us, and they never mind her company and talk to her very openly.
I love my Mum because she understands me."
The same group of psychologists asked parents to write answers to the question: «Are you happy about your children?"
B.S's answer:
"We live in a difficult and selfish time, when everyone looks after himself and does not worry about the effect this may have on others. Money and material benefit are the new gods of many. What can we actually expect from our children? But I am happy to say that my son does not fit this crazy time and world. He is 17, and I do not remember a day when he distressed us. He does equally well in the classroom and on the sports field.
He has lots of friends, but never yields to the pressure of his mates, who invariably respect him for his having his own opinion and views. His firm and quiet disposition fascinates both his companions and teachers. He reads a lot and is sometimes called a “walking encyclopedia”.
He was once attacted by a group of seniors and had his nose broken. My son knew that he was mistaken for another boy and could easily put an end to this incident but he preferred to say nothing and accepted his bruises with calm dignity.
Last term he was asked to teach physics to his class because their teacher had fallen ill. In hort, I am proud of my son and I have got much to learn from him.”
C.D’s answer:
“I have to work much to provide for my daughter and myself. She is 10 and I have no one to take care of her when I am away at my office. As my salary is not big enough, I have to agree to work overtime and of course, we see very little of each other. But our weekends have turned out to be very miserable for both of us. My daughter is very rude to me and the opinions of her peers are more important to her than mine".
h) New anti-drugs campaign for young people
New survey shows that Britain's drug problem is growing. The highest increase in drug use is among teenagers. How they are convinced to stop?
The problem
Last year, a European survey showed that the number of teenagers who had tried drugs was 6 % in Greece, 15% in France and 30% in Britain.
Statistics show that drug use by British teenagers has doubled since 1989. Half teenagers who were interviewed admitted they had tried at least one type of drug. 70% said they been offered drugs in the past 3 months.
The drugs that the government is most worried about are stimulant drugs such as Speed and Ecstasy (or "e" as it is commonly known) and hallucinogenic drugs such as LSD. They are worried that many young people believe these drugs to be exciting and fashionable. They think that many of teenagers will be influenced by films such as "Transporting" and "Pulp fiction", which show attractive people taking drugs.
The solution.
The government decided that it needed a new anti-drugs campaign. However, before it did this, it studied young people's attitudes. The survey showed that teenagers knew that drugs were bad for them but they could not actually name any health risk associated with particular drugs. It also showed that 61% of teenage drug-users would consider stopping using drugs if they thought they were a serious danger to their health.
It was also understood that many teenagers ignored drugs warnings in schools because they thought they were childish. In fact, it was proved that in some cases, the reason for taking drugs was to rebel against warnings from adults.
Using the results of the survey, new campaign has been started. The new campaign hopes to treat teenagers like adults. It informs young people of the health risks associated with particular drugs. It does this with photos of teenagers. On the advertisements, the parts of their bodies, which can be damaged by drugs, are indicated by biological diagrams showing the health risks. Many teenagers try drugs as a “dare” to show their friends that they are not scared. Often their friends insist until the person says “yes”. The health authority hopes that the ads will help teenagers to say ‘no” to this and be able to have good reason to say it. In addition to posters, the health authority has also made radio ads and put the number of their drugs helpline (a telephone number that can be called confidentially for help) in a lot of places. The people at the helpline advise people what to do if they have a drug problem or need more information about the dangers of drugs.
Drug facts
· 31% of teenagers interviewed could not name a health risk associated with Ecstasy. Eton (one of the England's most expensive schools) and several other schools introduced drug tests. If the tests show a pupil has used an illegal drug, he/she is expelled, and has to leave the school forever.