The Japanese savant calmly says «In Japan we have perfected literary expression in the haiku. We express the most profound concepts in just three lines and seventeen syllables.»
The American jumps up and says, «Well, we can beat that. We've perfected communication with a one-unit literary form, and we've covered our entire country with it. It's the billboard».
A Russian and an American are talking: - When I'm in a good mood I drive a car painted a light color, says the American. When I'm busy or have a lot of troubles, I drive a darker colored car. When I go for vacation overseas, I pick a brightly colored car. - Things are much easier in Russia, says the Russian. If you are in a good mood, they will give you a ride in yellow car with a blue stripe. If you feel bad, the car will be white and the stripe red. I was abroad only once, and there I drove a tank.
During his visit to the USSR, Nixon was intrigued by a new telephone capable of connecting with hell. He spoke briefly with the devil, and the call cost him 27 cents. When he came back home, he found out that this same service was now available in the US too. He tried it again and received a bill for $12,000. Nixon was distressed. - How come?! The same call only cost me 27 cents in the USSR. - Well, said the operator. Over there it is a local call.
An American physician asked his Russian collegue: - Is it true that there are cases in your country where a patient was treated for one disease, only to have the autopsy reveal another cause of death. - Absolutely not. All our patients die from the diseases we treat them for.
Three recently deceased persons, a Brit, a Russian, and an American, are making their way down to Hell. Each is carrying something with him: The Brit is carrying a shovel, the Russian is carrying an extra pair of shoes, and the American is carrying some cans of liquid. As they trudge along, the American asks his comrades why they're carrying the things they are.
The Brit responds, «Well, sir, I know the Devil keeps it awfully hot in Hell, and he makes blokes like us shovel coal to keep it that way. I was always fond of this particular shovel when I worked in the mines back home, so I brought it along for the job.»
The Russian responds, «Like our comrade says, it's awfully hot in Hell. These shoes have thick soles that protected me from the ice and snow of Siberia, and I'm hoping that they can save my feet from the hot ground on which we'll be toiling for eternity.»
The American puts down his cans and says in disbelief, «If it's as hot in Hell as you fellows say, then do you mean I'm not going to be able to get ice for my Coca-Cola?»
3 Национальные американские анекдоты
The Blackfeet asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the nearest phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, «Is this winter to be cold?» The man on the phone responded, «This winter was going to be quite cold indeed.»
So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, «Is it going to be a very cold winter?»
«Yes,» the man replied, «its going to be a very cold winter.»
So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks «Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?»
«Absolutely» the man replies, «the Blackfeet are collecting wood like crazy!»
A Cheyenne guy went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store. «How much do you want for the rat» he asked. «$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it» said the shopkeeper. «Just give me the rat,» the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water.
The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. «Ahh» the china man said. «Now you would like to hear the story?»
«No» said the Cheyenne, «I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!»
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. «We advise that outdoorsmen should wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them,» a spokesman said. «We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear».
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear paw prints and scat.
A grizzly's paw is larger and its claws are longer than that of a black bear. Black bear scat contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
2 Lakota guys and a dude from New York are on a hunting trip. On the first day, one Lakota goes out, and less than an hour later returns with a deer. The guy from New York is blown away. «How did you get your deer so fast?!» «Easy» says the Lakota guy, «I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and got my deer.»
The next day the 2nd Lakota guy goes out, and less than an hour later returns with a deer. The guy from New York is blown away again, just flabbergasted. «How did you get YOUR deer so fast?!» «It's simple» says the Lakota guy, «I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and there was the deer.»
On the third day, the New York guy goes out. He doesn't return, and when darkness begins to fall, the two Lakota guys go looking for him. They found him lying at the base of a hill, bloodied up, clothes torn, and bones broken. «What happened to you?» they asked. «I did just what you told me to do, I looked for tracks, found them, followed them, and the damn train ran me over.»
A Dine' guy is sitting in a bus stop with two old Anglo men. The first Anglo guy says, «Hey Herb, where you going for vacation this year?» Herb tells him, «I'm going to Montana to fish this year», The first guy looks at him and exclaims, «What you want to go there fer? They ain't nothin but a bunch of damned Indians up there.» Herb then says, «Well, where you goin?» The first guy says, «I'm going to Arizona and soak up some sun!» Herb looks at him and yells, «You moron, there's nothing but a bunch of Indians in Arizona!» Then the little Dine' guy speaks up and comments, «Why don't you both just go to hell! There's no Indians there.»
An Apache guy, who had spent his whole life in the desert, goes to visit a friend who had moved to town. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! - but doesn't know what it is.
BAM!!, he's hit by the train and tossed to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was lucky enough to live through it with a few broken bones and some bruises.
An American anthropology professor is lecturing on how to recognize the dominant features of a culture.
«It's quite simple,» she says. «Just look for the things to which, or for which, people make great sacrifices. In medieval Italy, look at how much money the people gave to the Catholic Church in their devotion to Jesus and the Virgin Mary. In pre-Columbian Mexico, look at the sacifice of humans on the Aztec altars of their gods. Even in modern India, look at the outrageous burdens placed on people in their remarkable veneration of cows. When people let something dominate their entire lives, to the extent that they don't even notice it anymore, that's the key sign of cultural obsession.»
«As a final note,» she goes on, «it's striking that America is free of any dominant cultural obsession. That may be one of the hallmarks of a true demcracy.»
She begins to pick up her books. «I'm sorry, but that will be the end of lecture for today. My car's in the shop to have its radio repaired, and I need to get my rental car out of the parking lot before I get a fine, buy some gas, get across town before the rush hour traffic gets too bad, and pick up my car before the garage closes. I'm sure you all want to beat the traffic too. Class dismissed.»
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[2] В данной работе Э.Холл дает следующее определение культуры: «Культура – это технический термин, используемый антропологами для обозначения системы создания, передачи, накопления и обработки информации, передаваемой людьми, что отличает их от других живых существ» (Hall, E.T., Hall, M.R. Understanding Cultural Differences.Yarmouth, M E: Intercultural Press, Inc,1990. – P.183)
[3] Там же. – Р. 57.
[4] Национально-культурная специфика речевого поведения. – М.: Институт языкознания РАН, 1977; Национально-культурная специфика речевого общения народов СССР. – М.: Институт языкознания РАН, 1982.
[5] Тер-Минасова С.Г. Язык и межкультурная коммуникация. – М.: Слово, 2000.
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[9] Леонтович О.А. Русские и американцы: парадоксы межкультурного общения. – Волгоград, 2002. – С. 88.
[10] Тарасов Е.Ф. Язык как средство трансляции культуры // Фразеология в контексте культуры. – М.: Знание, 1999. – 34-37.
[11] Lippman W. Public Opinion. – N.Y.: Macmillan, 1950. – Р. 95
[12] Тер-Минасова С.Г. Язык и межкультурная коммуникация – М.: Слово, 2000. – С. 78
[13] The Longman Dictionary of English Language and Culture, Addison Wesley Longman 1998.
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