have many advantages. They can learn from the older sibling but can also regress
to be like the younger one, doubling their learning opportunities. Yet, they
may also have many mood swings between grown-up and baby-like behavior,
especially
during the teen age years (Brazelton, 1994). Leman (1989) says to “Remember,
the average teenager has only two emotional outbursts per year. The problem
is they last about six months each.”
Because slightly more than one third
of American families today have only two children, many parents find themselves
thinking in terms of the first born and second born. Middle and second born
children share many of the same characteristics. Like the middle child, the
second-born is likely to search for ways to be different from the first-born
child (Marzollo, 1990). Dr. Kidwell says, “Problems arise when a family has
very rigid expectations.” If the only thing that matters is straight A’s and
the first kid is doing that, the middle kid has a profound dilemma. He or
she needs something else to be known for (Jabs, 1987, p.29). Some famous middle
and second children who have found their own identity include Bea Arthur (actress),
Glenn Close (actress), Matt Dillon (actor), Linda Evans (actress), Jessica
Lange (actress), Cyndi Lauper (singer), Tom Selleck (actor), Mary Decker Slaney
(runner), Richard Nixon (president), Princess Diana (British royalty), George
Burns (comedian), Bob Hope (comedian) (Jabs, 1
987; Marzollo, 1990).
If
a group of psychologists randomly picked out ten youngest born children, chances
are that nine of them would have these characteristics: manipulative, charming,
blames others, shows off, people person, good salesperson, precocious, engaging,
and sometimes spoiled (Leman, 1985). By the time the youngest child is born,
his or her parents have become veterans in the field of child care (Lanning,
1991). They are more experienced and confident in their parenting practices,
and so they often decide to let the last born enjoy childhood as long as they
can (Marzollo, 1990). This is why youngest children tend to be more pampered
than older siblings. The youngest or “baby” of the family is often given an
extra dose of affection and attention, as well as an occasional exception from
the rules (Marzollo, 1990). This extremely positive upbringing helps to contribute
to the youngest child’s fun-loving, affectionate, and persuasive behavior (Marzollo,
1990). The youngest child can grow up to feel the most tre
asured, and the
most nurtured of all (Brazelton, 1994). Also, without the pressure of a younger
sibling gaining from behind, the youngest may grow up easy going and carefree
(Jabs, 1987). However, life isn’t all fun and games for the family baby.
The endless praise of last born children may leave them feeling that their
families do not take them seriously (Marzollo, 1990). For instance, a common
youngest child remark would be, “If I get upset or try to state my opinion,
nobody takes me seriously. To them, I’m the baby. They think I don’t know
a whole lot,” (Lanning, 1991). Youngest children often have feelings of insecurity
or long periods of self-doubt (Lanning, 1991). For example, a youngest child
grows up being coddled one minute as a darling little baby, but the next minute
she’s compared unfavorably with an older sibling. He or she is often unfairly
compared with older and stronger siblings.
According to Beverly Hills-based
psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, M.D., the self-image of the youngest child may
become confused (Lanning, 1991). As a result of conflicting experiences,
youngest children can be extremely self-confident in someways and insecure
in others (Leman, 1985). For the most part, youngest children learn to cope
with the problems of self-doubt. In fact, youngest children often go on to
become quite successful, thanks in part to their originality and determination
to prove themselves to the world (Lanning, 1991). Often, they express their
unique view of the world through the visual or literary arts. People-pleasing
fields, such as art, comedy, entertainment and sales are full of youngest children
(Lanning, 1991). Some examples of famous youngest children include Ronald
Reagan (president, actor), Eddie Murphy (comedian), Paul Newman (actor), Mary
Lou Retton (gymnast), Billy Crystal (comedian), Yogi Bera (baseball player),
Ted Kennedy (politician), and Kevin Leman (psychologist)