MY DESEASE: A THIEF OF MY DREAMS Essay, Research Paper
Life has more imaginations than we carry in our dreams. It’s full of incredible
events and unexpected surprises that change our moods. And sometimes they can
even shock us. After that we feel frustrated, tired of living in the world which
only yesterday didn’t seem to be savage, in the world full of fuss and problems.
Once I changed my attitude to everything, I saw the world differently and liked
my life. It happened when I became seriously ill and was afraid of bad
consequences. The fear of death changed the way I see, taste, hear, smell, or
even think. When the severe pain frustrated me, I couldn’t sleep some nights.
Then I thought a lot about life, about what would happen if I changed the
worlds.
Now let me tell you how it happened in detail.
It was a usual shiny day when the city football championship began. We had to
play one of the first matches. I was in the high school’s football team and I
worried a lot because I had never played such an important game when a lot of
people watched it. This game meant everything to me because I always was
interested in football. That’s why I didn’t want to play the first period.
However I was very angry with myself because some guys didn’t play well enough
and I thought I would do much better if I were in their place. And at last, the
first forty-five minutes finished and I replaced one guy who couldn’t play well.
It seemed he couldn’t do it because he was scared that he would make a serious
mistake and worried as well as I did since almost a thousand people watched the
game. When the second period of the game started, my heart began to beat fast
and I felt something strange deep inside that forced me to make a wrong pass.
During those forty-five minutes I ran like a wild animal. However in the end of
the game I felt a severe pain in the right side of my stomach. It was the
beginning of the trouble, which lasted for about half a year.
When I went to hospital, the doctor said that the problem was the gall bladder
and the liver. He added that any sport and hard work was dangerous and told me
not to eat fatty products. Besides, he said that I had better take one course of
treatment in the hospital that would last about three weeks. But I immediately
ignored his advice because I didn’t want to miss the classes that were very
important since it was my final year at the lyceum.
After that I felt myself as if my hands were tied or like a bird in the cage. I
wanted to do what I did before; I wanted to fly and enjoy the life without any
limitations in my actions. I wanted to jump, run, and sweat, but for that
terrible illness which paralyzed my actions I couldn’t play football.
At that hard time I understood the value of healthy life, of being fit and
athletic. When I watched a football match on TV or passed by a place where boys
played football or other sport I felt pity because it reminded me the days I was
happy and enjoyed the game. I had a great desire to kick that football and
sometimes I couldn’t suffer it any more and played my favorite game, but
couldn’t get the real satisfaction. I was very sorry for myself then.
Even though I swallowed lots of pills, which weren’t very tasty, and tried out
many ways other people recommended, and although I was on diet it, didn’t make
me feel better. My illness became a global problem for me because it hurt badly
when I did something. I was ready to starve the whole week and not to eat food
which contained fat. Moreover, I lost my weight and became weak. That’s why I
easily got tired. However, the most terrible thing was that I had to reject my
favorite meals that I missed for a long time.
When I was doing my home assignment, I couldn’t concentrate on it. It made me
feel more terrible. I spent more time on doing it than I usually did. Since it
was my last year at the lyceum, I had to study very hard and prepare for final
exams, for the competition in mathematics, and for university at the same time.
That’s why sometimes I was completely exhausted and tired of studying.
Not only did my illness injure me physically but it also hurt my inner world. It
changed me; I became depressed, frustrated and angry. Probably it’s the reason I
seemed to behave rudely; most of my friends thought I was selfish and didn’t
care.
Sometimes it hurt very badly and I didn’t know how to kill my pain. I wanted to
forget about it by doing something interesting. It worked very often and at that
moment fear made me silly. It seemed to me that something terrible would happen.
I was very afraid, especially, when I was alone. Then I thought about life,
about my future, my family, my friends, etc., and everything got mixed up in my
head in a very complex way. I thought about life without me, about what would
happen if I died. Then I understood the value of living, being healthy, and that
the life was beautiful. I looked differently at the surrounding world, and I saw
many wonderful things that I didn’t notice before.
When I recovered from that disease, the robber of my happiness of being fit and
living a healthy life, I felt like a free bird that escaped from a cage or like
a winner of a long and tiring run. My life became more enjoyable, and I realized
that everything changed. I didn’t feel “trapped” by the thief of my dreams any
more. Lots of my problems were solved as if I gained extra power. Everything
returned to its usual place.
Although my illness lasted for six months, I discovered a lot of important
things which make life more interesting. I understood the value of health, of
being fit and that life is beautiful even though sometimes we face obstacles on
our way to happiness that might seem almost insurmountable. That’s why I think
we must be tolerant and optimistic to make our life more enjoyable when we
confront difficulties.